Actual Conversation By Actual People

The scene: Gate E5 of Ft. Lauderdale-Hollywood International airport. About 12:15 p.m. today.

The players: Unattractive, older married couple. The husband walks up and sits next to his wife...

Wife (loudly so the entire gate area can hear): You said you were going to the bathroom and you were gone 15 minutes!

Husband: (quiet speaking)

Wife (again, with volume): You worry about me?! I'm worried about you! We're about to board! Where are you? And I can't have a cigarette until 6 p.m.! You think I get stressed out and today you do this when I cannot even have a cigarette!

Husband: (quiet speaking)

Wife (many decibels): I don't know. We haven't been communicating well this week! I'm not sure any more that you're even listening to anything I say and you go running off to the bathroom and I can't have a cigarette. What are you trying to do to me?

Needless to say, I was beginning to understand why this guy's trip to the bathroom took a quarter-hour...

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