Pithy Title Here

I fly through Phoenix a lot. Comes with the territory of being a US Airways flyer . I always go for window seats because I am a six-year-old and love looking out the window at stuff. As much as I fly into PHX , I had never noticed something until a few weeks ago. At first, I didn't know what I was seeing. I kept looking... Yes. It's a flipping fountain. But, thanks to The Googles and The Internets, I know it is not just any fountain. Apparently, it is the key feature of the Fountain Hills community and was built in 1970. Our friends at Wikipedia say it blasts 7,000 gallons of water every minute through three 600 horsepower pumps and that "ideally" it shoots water 560 feet into the air. The Washington Monument, by the way, is 555 feet and 5 1/8 inches tall. Yes, friends, in the middle of the flipping desert, we have built a fountain that can top out higher than a major national landmark. I barely know where to start here. I should note that it doesn't constantly ...

So, I am in the process of selling my home. In fact, it's under contract. Today, we learned that our buyer would like to forego having the house inspected. They, apparently, feel that our sheet of disclosures and recent fixes are good enough for them. Truthfully, I was anticipating not having many repairs at all. We know the house and really... it's in good shape. So, there was this brief bit of rejoicing around 6 p.m. tonight, knowing that we would save a few bucks on any small repairs the buyer requested. At about 11 p.m., the joy subsided. As I was walking into our laundry room, I noticed a small bit of water on the floor. An investigation yielded that one of the hoses from our hot water heater comes to a triple joint... and at the bottom of that joint, a thin, but steady stream of water slowly misting the side of my water heater. And the floor. Balls. By the way... I have a home warranty. I called them. The customer service rep was very helpful. Except for being able to...

Have you driven from Baltimore to Delaware lately? No? Good for you. Because they have JACKED the tolls on I-95 to a point where I think I may bike the 90 miles or whatever next time. The Maryland toll is up to $5 a car and the one at the Delaware line, easily the worst tollbooth in the country is now $4. This is what it feels like: I find myself very suddenly hoping the NC Turnpike Authority concentrates on Raleigh for many, many, many years before touching my Charlotte highways.

...this blog is here for you. Even when I haven't had time to blog, zombie news is news of importance and must be noted. CNN , please take us away: Woody Harrelson defended his clash with a photographer at a New York airport Wednesday night as a case of mistaken identity -- he says he mistook the cameraman for a zombie. Uh, huh. Go on... "I wrapped a movie called ' Zombieland ,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," Harrelson said in a statement issued Friday by his publicist. "With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie," he said. I'm not sure what to believe. Every time I'm at LaGuardia , I think I see a zombie. Anyhow, keep this in mind the next time you plan a surprise party for Woody Harrelson .

Saginaw, Michigan is not a place I have been. Looking at Google Maps, it seems like it could be more remote, however, it does seem like a place where one could get bored. Boredom, of course, leads to bad ideas. Like this : AP - A man has pleaded no contest to indecent exposure after police said he was arrested for performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum. Uh huh. A no-contest plea is not an admission of guilt but will be treated as one at sentencing on March 25. Police said the man was arrested after a resident called officers early on Oct. 16 to report suspicious activity at a car wash in Thomas Township, about 90 miles northwest of Detroit . So wait... a resident noticed something and it was still going on minutes later when police arrived? See, this article, to its credit, is low on what you might call "the gory details." The problem here is I have a tremendous imagination. And right now, it's not a good thing to have.

Let us turn to our friends at Reuters, who bring us this lovely romp . As always, I don't need to type when they can tell it so much better: BHUBANESWAR , India (Reuters) – An infant boy was married off to his neighbors' dog in eastern India by villagers, who said it will stop the groom from being killed by wild animals , officials and witnesses said on Wednesday. Around 150 tribespeople performed the ritual recently in a hamlet in the state of Orissa's Jajpur district after the boy, who is under two years old, grew a tooth on his upper gum. The Munda tribe see such a growth in young children as a bad omen and believe it makes them prone to attacks by tigers and other animals. The tribal god will bless the child and ward off evil spirits after the marriage. OK... so... uh... No dowry was exchanged, the witness said, and the boy will still be able to marry a human bride in the future without filing for divorce. ...

When we last saw our hero, he was finding out he owes more on his house than he's likely to get on the market. In today's episode... It started innocently enough. We decided that the old fish tank was beyond repair and needed to be replaced. So, out I went to go get a new, smaller tank (with a filter that doesn't sound like the background on a Skinny Puppy song). As we're installing this new aquarium, there's a lot of running to and fro in the house, and on one particular trip, I put my hand against the wall in our hallway and feel something give. And, there, sure enough, is a 4-inch hole in my wall. I barely even touched the damn thing. Fortunately, it's not so much a hole as the beginning of a hole. The part of the wall that would need to be absent to have a true hole in my wall is still somewhat in place. There are no signs of water damage, though, so let's count our blessings there. Now, friends, it gets interesting. I have a home warranty. I w...

Frequent readers know I am a former New Yorker, that I grew up not far from NYC and that nothing this area can through at me really throws me for a loop. Sex shows on public access? Whatever. A woman on the 7 Train yelling at a man that he should love her so much that he "should pre -ejaculate" as soon as he hears her name? Maybe a bit much on a train with kids after a Mets game, but, again... it's New York. So, it was very jarring to hear an ad this morning on K-Rock while driving to Connecticut that seems to cross every line. As a PR guy, I cannot believe I'm even blogging about this b/c if I'm talking about it, most likely others are as well... spreading word-of-mouth. And they do not deserve word of mouth. Even though a Google News search shows they barely need my help to raise awareness. Who is this I am discussing? The fine folks at Ashley Madison. I will not link to them, though it won't be hard to find the Web site if you are so motivated. As...